First things first: Happy Mother's Day to all of the mothers out there. I think I can speak for all of us here in #nerdland when I say that we send our very best to you. Especially to you, Sybrina Fulton.
This year, I have to think it's just about impossible for anyone to consider the meaning of Mother's Day without thinking of Fulton, the mother of the late Trayvon Martin. She has endured a special hell this year, one shared surely by too many other mothers whose names we don't know. (Fulton's Mother's Day PSA for the Second Chance program, released earlier this week, is incredibly moving. Keep a tissue nearby.)
For too many mothers today, for so many reasons, Mother's Day is a melancholy occasion. Listening to Tupac Shakur's mother (who also surely grieves today) speak at the beginning of the song above about how glad she was she didn't give birth in prison, I can't also help but think of Marissa Alexander, the Jacksonville mother of three who in 2010 -- less than two weeks after giving birth -- sought to stop yet another attack by her abusive husband by firing a warning shot into her kitchen wall. Earlier this week, she was sentenced to 20 years in prison.
Continuing on a theme from last week, Melissa will take a look at the Alexander case, and the tens of thousands of other incarcerated mothers in our prison system. Our special guest will be Tina Reynolds, co-founder and co-chair at WORTH, as well as an adjunct professor at York College. She gave birth to a child while incarcerated, and he was nine months old when she was released.
We'll also take a look at the extraordinary mothers of the two men who, it seems, will face off for the presidency this year. The stories of Lenore Romney and Stanley Ann Dunham are incredible, indeed, and not in the literal sense of that word. Melissa will take a look at these women's lives with the help of two biographers: Dunham biographer Janny Scott, and Mitt Romney biographer Ronald Scott, who is also related to the former Massachusetts governor.
Speaking of Romney, Melissa will also examine the revelations from this week's controversial Washington Post article about his prep-school life, which included some rather cruel pranks, bullying, and an assault on a gay classmate. Melissa will also offer a "reality check" about the famously fertile, pay tribute to our moms (yes, those of us on the staff here in #nerdland), and will continue her conversation about the President's new marriage-equality stance with a new roster of guests, including:
- Chloe Angyal, an editor at Feministing, and freelance writer for such publications as Jezebel and The Atlantic.
- Anthea Butler, professor of Religious Studies and Graduate Chair of Religion at the University of Pennsylvania.
- Michael Tomasky, Special Correspondent for Newsweek and The Daily Beast.
- Robin Levi, attorney and co-editor of "Inside This Place, Not of It."
- Rev. Vivian Nixon, executive director at the College and Community Fellowship and co-founder of the Education Inside Out Coalition.
As always, folks -- be sure to interact with us during the show here in the comments of this post, on Facebook, and on Twitter, using the hashtag #nerdland. We look forward to having you join us at 10am ET!
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very interesting topics;will dicuss with friends later; have a great day
A pleasant Tupac song. It brings to my mind the reinforced gender roles and differences between what is valued and expected from our daughters verses our sons, especially in the family environment. But out of respect for the day, and other moms, I will wait to elaborate until the end of the day.
The behaviors, stereotypes, and tolerance we nurture in our genders, shape the norms for our culture.
Mothers in prison not a good thing- but this discussion again suggests that it is the fault of some one else that the mother is in jail and that it is the fault of some else that they did not get "therapy"- simple solution- do not break the law- then you will not be in jail on mothers day-
Melissa,
i would like to thank you for having such useful conversations about the total costs involved when a Child is Left Behind...
Thank you to all of those Women on your panel and Happy Mother's Day to all of you ladies!!!
Ms. Melissa,
Thank you and all of your fellow companions for all of the outstanding, difficult and important work that y'all do.
Happy Mother's Day !
Mama, Do You Know Me ?
Alzheimer’s/Dementia is a cruel Dis-ease.
Gradually - day by day -
memory by memory - your Loved One leaves you.
Slips away from you.
Mama, Do You Know Me ?
Mama is/was a Gentle, Sensitive Soul.
An Artist. A Natural Teacher.
A wonderful and inviting Home-Maker.
She is/was the Comforting Hearth of Our Family’s Home.
Mama, Do You Know Me ?
Mama loves Being outside - out in Nature -
Working and Creating Life in her Flower and
Vegetable Gardens.
Sunrises and Sunsets bring a Smile to her lips each and
every day.
She always stops to say, “My, how Beautiful the World is -
How Wonderful !”
Mama, Do You Know Me ?
Mama did everything in Life for her
Family - for her Four Girls
And their Children, and their Children’s Children
She raised them All with Love, Play, Art, Music, Adventure and
Laughter.
Mama, Do You Know Me ?
Mama trained all of our Colts. Even the Stallions. She Gentled their Spirits.
She spent months building a Respectful Relationship with the young Horses.
Loving them - Working them - Training them, and eventually Riding them.
“Here Girls, this Horse is ready for y’all to Ride now.”
And then she’d firmly place the Horse’s reins in Our Hands.
“Be Thoughtful, Be Respectful, and Take Good Care of your Horse, and
the Horse will Take Good Care of you.”
“And if for any reason you fall off, get right back up into your saddle and Ride your horse again.”
Mama, Do You Know Me ?
Mama is a Painter and a Singer. The Blood of Artists and Musicians
runs Through her Veins - through All of her People’s Veins.
“And that same Blood of Artists and Musicians was passed on to her Four Girls,” she often boasts.
Mama, Do You Know Me ?
Now, Mama Paints only on occasion, when her concentration holds out
Or can hold onto a Project.
She has created a Daily Regimen for herself.
Rigid Ritual is important when Memory is failing.
Every day, she rises at dawn, and after a cup of coffee and bowl of oatmeal,
She tends to and feeds her clucking Chickens, mischievous Goats,
cavorting Pony, barking Dogs, napping Cats, chittering Hummingbirds, melodious
Songbirds and snorting Deer.
Afterwards, she Gardens until it gets too hot outside.
Then she goes inside to take a brief nap, read, write letters and work on her Creative Projects.
When her Four Girls call to check on her she almost always says, “It sure is
Beautiful out here. The Hill Country is so peaceful. Sky as far as the Eyes
Can See. I’m Blessed.”
Mama, Do You Know Me ?
These days Mama doesn’t want to go to any concerts, the opera, the
Symphony, art shows, church or even out to visit with Friends.
“It's just too much of a bother. Anyway, I can’t Re-Member People
Or Places from one minute to the next. Sometimes, I repeat things I’ve
Already said two or more times.
Sometimes I get lost in buildings I used to Know like the back of my hand.”
When Mama admits these things to her Four Girls, she laughs with a glint of
sadness - of something Lost in her soft green eyes.
Mama, Do You Know Me ?
“Girls, I’m worried about your Father.
He pulled his old Golf Clubs out of the hall closet yesterday
And tried to sell them to People on the Television playing
The Price Is Right again. I cant get him to Understand that the Television
People are not real, and cannot hear a word he is saying to them.
I think he’s Losing his Mind.”
“I know Mama. I know. Did he get any fair offers for
his Bag of Golf Clubs, Mama ?”
Mama chuckled, "He thinks he did."
We looked at one another knowingly and laughed out loud.
Mama, Do You Know Me ?
“Where did you say we are going to, Baby ?”
“To the doctor’s office, Mama.
“That’s right. That’s right. I knew that. I was just checking with you to Make sure that you knew what we We"re doing.”
“Is that right, Mama ? Well, thank you for keeping me focused.”
“Sure is taking Bill a long tome to fix my little pick-up truck. I miss
Driving myself around to get things done on my own.”
“Yes Ma’am, Bill’s still looking for all of the parts he needs. I’m sure he’ll Call when
he’s done.”
Mama, Do You Know Me ?
Mama, got lost for more than three hours one day last year while driving into Town for a few groceries, and Some chicken and goat feed.
She drove aimlessly around on the back roads just a few miles from home.
She had forgotten to carry her cell phone with her.
She had no idea where she was or how to get back home again.
By chance, her Artists Eye Re-Membered a pretty Horse Ranch she was
always commenting on, and luckily, she was able to find her way home.
She put a scare into everyone.
When her truck ‘mysteriously’ would not start one morning, the Family
Had it towed away to Bill’s never to return.
Every time Mama asks about the truck, we tell her that Bill will call when It’s fixed.
Oddly, Bill never seems To have the time to fix it.
And Mama has no Concept of Time anymore.
She’s constantly looking at her Lighthouse Calender and her Brass Clock.
But neither seem to help her much anymore.
Mama, Do You Know Me ?
“Betty, pass me that plate, please.”
“Yes Mama. But I’m Cheyenne, your daughter.
Aunt Betty still lives in Arkansas with her Family.”
Mama smiles, “I know that Betty.”
I smile back and passing her the plate say, “I Love you Mama.”
Mama, Do You Know Me ?
“What’s that, dear ?”
“Nothing Mama. The important thing is that I Know You.
And I Love you with All of my Heart - just as you taught me to Love.
Mama, I Know You. And right now,
that’s all that really matters.”
Respectfully,
Leah Sellers
About the best and most thought-provoking--and most moving-- discussion of motherhood I've every witnessed. Watch it if you can. What a Mother's Day gift to women and men and our children everywhere.
Happy Mother's Day to all the Mothers out there.
I want to speak to the footage of Governor Romney speaking on Fox News about his 50 year old incident of bullying.
One part of his explanation that really concerns me (one of many certainly) is his "contention" that he "did not know, and certainly wasn't concerned about his classmates sexuality".
My question, which I've not really heard anyone else ask, is; If his "motivation" was not the other student's sexuality, what was it?
I don't really buy what Mr. Tomasky was trying to suggest. The motivation for the level of violence that young Mitt perpetrated upon his classmate could not have been simply the "length of his hair".
I attended a "private school" in the early 1970's. Hair length was an issue at my school my first year there because it was a MILITARY prep school, but even with that, my hair length was longer than the majority of the Student Body. The next year the school became a co-ed boarding school, and hair length was never an issue for any of us.
To suggest that "discomfort" with the length of another students hair (particularly if it was within the "standards" of the School), could have motivated Mitt to go to such an extreme act as to gather a "gang" to "hold him down while he cut his hair" just doesn't sound plausible to me.
This is an "action" that is motivated by something that evoked a far more "emotional" response than "hair length".
The Bully Test
A teenage boy walks by with long bangs hanging in his eyes. He’s good
looking, but effeminate.
Do you rummage up a gang of your classmates to taunt, tease and humiliate
him, while you and some other classmates tackle him, pin him down to the ground
(with him screaming and crying in protest), and you (the ring-leader) cut his
bangs off before releasing him ?
Then you are a Bully. The classmates who participated with you are
Bullies.
The young man you tackled, held down to the ground and sheared like a
Sheeple/People was your targeted victim.
He had long hair, and the style of the day was short hair. He was a
non-conformist. He was possibly gay. He did not conform to your sensibilities
of what it is to be normal. How Dare He !
Because of his nonconformity, his social dissonance with what You, the
Bullies, believed to be correct, standard and stylish, You, the Bullies,
attacked him like a pack of wild dogs. Young Were-Wolves. Young Beastie-Boys.
You, pulled him down for the kill. And did what you Willed.
Ta-dah !! What Powerful and Noble Future Leaders you all were !
Yes, You are Bullies. You pass the Bully Test.
When the Bully-Boy grew into a successful businessman, who earned his
millions primarily by flying in for the kill to gut out companies seeking his
supposedly helpful expertise, in the process Un-Employing all of a company’s
employees, destroying other people’s benefits and pensions (while increasing his
own), just so a handful of investors (and yourself) could make off like filthy
rich bandits, You, the Grown-up-Bully-Boy, ‘forgot’ all about your past
offensive behavior toward another teenage classmate - another human being ?
Really ?
You, the Grown-up-Bully-Boy laughingly said to the Nation (who needs to
have a president that their children can look up to and admire for positive
character traits) said that if you did do such a thing, then of course, you
would be sorry for it.
Ha ! Ha ! After all, Grown-up-Bully-Boy, you enjoy "firing people" - ostracizing and displacing people for the sake of what you consider to be a better norm of existence. You remain true to your earlier teenage pattern, Sir Romney.
Also, is this how Grown-up-Bully-Boys earnestly and humbly apologize for their
wrongdoings - their cruel pranks ?
One has to wonder, Mr. Grown-up-Bully-Boy, how you would have reacted if
one of your sons had been treated this way by another teenage-Bully-Boy? If
one of your grandsons had been laughed at, taunted, harassed, tackled, pinned
down and shorn like a Sheep, how you, Mr. Grown-up-Bully-Boy have would
responded ?
Experience is Our Greatest Teacher. Walking a mile in someone else’s
Discriminated Against Shoes can be very bitter Medicine for the Soul, but the
Teaching and Healing Aspects of such an Experiential Life’s Journey can give
One Empathy, True Compassion, Understanding and Tolerant Civility.
Mr. Grown-up-Bully-Boy, sir, perhaps you need a new pair of Walking Shoes ?
Thank you to you and Ron Scott and Anthea Butler.
Your discussion of Mitt Romney and our LDS faith was, and I hate to use the term, "fair and balanced."
Some of us in the LDS community have been quite disappointed at what we see as Mitt Romney's pandering to so many interest groups whose interests are antithetical to the teachings of our faith. At the same time, we find it distressing when those who apparently know very little about the tenants of the LDS faith speak authoritatively but erroneously about it. Frankly, your colleague Lawrence O'Donnell is one of these.
Obviously you, with your background, know what you are talking about when you discuss LDS beliefs. Anthea apparently has a strong understanding as well. We were very impressed with your handling of the discussion. Ron was in a tough position and we were very impressed with how he handled himself. We were especially gratified when he courageously refused to allow the discussion to continue along the line that the bullying incident was homophobic.
Our family will not be voting for Mitt Romney. I am even thinking of having a bumper sticker made that says, "Old White Mormon Guys for Obama."
I wanted to tell you that I thoroughly enjoy your excellent, creative, and intelligent work. i try to catch your show every weekend.
I am now a 57 year old widowed, disabled, and domestic abuse survivor. I also helped run the final door-to-door canvassing/fundraising campaign for the Ratification of the ERA Amendment in 1980-1981 for the National Women's Political Caucus up until time ran out (and Reagan Republicans ran in).
Ya'all say we now make 77 cents to men's $1, though I wonder since it seems only recenty was only up to 70 cents. Back 1980-1981 it was 59 cents. That means over 30 years I only gained 11-18 cents. Wonder if we'll ever get there, probably not in my lifetime.
What is most fearful is the still intense battle to keep from returning prior Roe v. Wade, (or even further back to property status for all women) regardless of majority support for choice all these years. My only medical service choice back then and many years after was Planned Parenthood, of course. Still don't need legislation prohibiting federal dollars for their support, Hyde Amendment still on the books.
Anyway thanks again. Read you're from Tulane? Also from Naw'lins? Love that city! As you may have guessed I love history.