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This was a historic week in the battle for marriage equality in this country. The struggle is not over, but it has a powerful new ally. It got me to thinking about how many times I have written in defense of marriage equality and how many battles we have lost; like the Amendment 1 vote in North Carolina this week.
On our show, we often enjoy going back "into the vault" to find historic moments that speak to our current news cycle. In that spirit, I went into my personal vault and found this piece I wrote for The Nation in October of 2009 in which I detailed the reasons I support marriage equality. In doing so, I was also struck by my reflection on pain of my own first marriage:
I know from personal experience that a bad marriage is enough to rid you of the fear of death. But this experience allows me suspect that a good marriage must be among the most powerful, life-affirming, emotionally fulfilling experiences available to human beings. I support marriage equality not only because it is unfair, in a legal sense, to deny people the privileges of marriage based on their identity; but also because it also seems immoral to forbid some human beings from opting into this emotional experience.
We must do more than simply integrate new groups into an old system. Let's use this moment to re-imagine marriage and marriage-free options for building families, rearing children, crafting communities, and distributing public goods.
Since I first wrote this piece, I married my soul mate, moved to a new city, started a new academic job, and begun hosting this show. Huge changes! Yet, so much of what I wrote in that column about the inequality facing loving LGBT couples hasn't changed at all. I hope to look back someday very soon, and remember this week as the beginning of the end of second-class citizenship for so many of the people I love.
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Years ago The President of Liberty University, Jerry Falwell, was on TV a LOT - talking about religious information, such as GAY marriage - and he was always taking the Republican stance on issues. Later I found out that President Reagan gave Liberty University ONE MILLION DOLLARS of our tax money to that University. I have no respect for Jerry Falwell. He has been dead several years.
I am watching your show, and am so distressed by the comments made by the republican seminarian (name?). I am a Christian and count myself a strong believer - a follower of Christ and/but the commandments and teachings in the Bible are my instructions for MY PERSONAL BEHAVIOR! They not only tell me what I should and should not do, but also tell me how to win people to Christ (which, by the way, is one of our greatest commissions). People are convinced to follow by our demonstration of love and a change in their hearts and mind effected by the Holy Spirit. NEVER did Christ force anyone to follow His ways - not even the disciples. Not only that, but the defense of his position with the Bible ought to send up all sorts of first amendment red flags! I am proud of President Obama's support of Gay marriage; and understand his "evolution" as a Christian. As an African American woman, it would be outrageously hypocritical for me to advocate to deny other citizens basic rights as a result of my personal religious beliefs. I could go on. . .
It kills me when you guys talk about equal rights for gays under the law. What are you going to say when the man boy organization states that we want to be treated equally under the law also and men want to start marrying boys. are you going to tell them that they cannot, and then would that not be the same descrimination that you say that lesbian and gays are going through now. You say that we just want to enjoy all the rights that everyone else enjoys. So why can't a man marry more than one woman, what is the problem if you apply your gay and lesbian arguement to their situation. Is this only good for gay and lesbians or is it good for everyone. I mean equality is equality or is it just to win this particular arguement.
You know it amazes me that people say they are christians yet truly know nothing about
Christ. God hates sin, and sin will be judged, for not only is God a God of love but people seem to forget that he is HOLY, read what that word means. Israel thought that they could live any kind of way and found out that is not the case. If we say that this is marriage equality, then why can't a man have as many wives as he can afford, are we going to descriminate against these people who only desire to be happy. Is this not your arguement, we just want to be happy. I was born this way, well who is to say that a man that desires to have 7 wives was not born that way. Why can't a man marry a boy, if they so desire, or a man marry a 14 year old with consent, if this makes them happyl Should they not enjoy the same rights as the Lesbian and Gay community, or is this just more descriminiation. Such hypocritical are you . If everyone is going to be equal under the law, then let everyone be equal under the law not just a select group.
I think growing up in the Methodist religion of songs I used to sing. God loves the little children. Jesus luvs me. No gender issue in these songs. Then I think of our constitution. All men are created equal to now include all men & women are created equal. What do we conclude when God was Jesus's father yet Mary was with Joseph?
If we believe that we are all Americans. If we believe in equal rights. If we believe that the gov. should not come into our homes. Then why do we not believe in marriage equality? Isn't the old saying "Whats good for Peter is good for Paulette".
We as Americans have such bigger issues to overcome then to tell other Americans how to live their lives. We are all Gods children after all aren't we? Do we as Americans have the right to deny rights to other Americans? If we do where do we draw the line? If an alternative life style is not ur cup of tea do we have the right to forbid it?
In the 20th century I am so amazed that the issue is still equal rights & a womens right to choose. Isn't it time we stopped trying to control each other lives & pay attention to the issues of making America great again for all? We are all American's after all & should all have the same rights shouldn't we?
So where does it stop, or does this include everyone. does not everyone have the right to live as they want to live. I should be able to marry a 13 year old girl, or have as many wives that I want to have, as long as we are all in agreement. I do not understand why only a select few get equal rights yet the other sections desires are outlawed, that is not equality under the law why are these situations not protected also, why are they looked upon with disgust. If everyone should be free should not the ones who want these things also, man boy relationships, man girl, men with many wives, one woman with many husbands, beastiality, whatever we desire right!!!!!!!!!
right on brother !!
The insanity has to stop in America.
The language skills of Americans, math skills, morals and the list goes on. Why?
Family values are all but gone in this country. Family values, teaching children from a marriage the right things to do in life. Not dropping kids off at a warehouse and hoping the $6.75 worker instills the values parents should be doing. The mother, a woman and the father a man.
"I support marriage equality" reading this is just plain silly and insane.
Marriage is intended for a man and a woman to be together under the law. There are still many laws on the books about women who have sex and are not married. Just to mention one of them.
Equality, just what the hell does that have to do with the centuries old ceremony of a man and a woman of opposite sexes being married in the eyes of God.
You referring to something that is abnormal in all ways, 2 people of the same sex being married in the eyes of God and nature. Nature, the process of reproduction.
You could stand on your head and spit nickels out all day and your not going to convince most people that 2 gay people should be looked at as being normal, in marriage or any other way.